Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
