Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
