didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
