My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
