Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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