Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
