Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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