I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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