So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
