he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
