Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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