guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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