Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
