Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
