When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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