she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
