i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
