All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize