She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
