Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
