Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
