she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
