after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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