Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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