I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
