I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
