we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
