The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize