Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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