Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Randomize
