yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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