I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
