When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
