She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
