At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
