i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
