Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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