i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
