Small penises have feelings too.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Come see our sink grown plant.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
