Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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