only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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