He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
