your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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