In the future we'll all be gay
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I will be naked everywhere
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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