What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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