Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
