Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
