I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
