Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize