Ketchup is God's man juice
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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