You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize