Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
