therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
