in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
