I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
