Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
