we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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