do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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