i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
