Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
