i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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