You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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