I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
