I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize