i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
