Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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