I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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