I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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