Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The maid of honor just puked.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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