The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
