cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
