you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
