Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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